bunt sign

April 23, 2000

The move is finished, and so am I. Even though I had plenty of help today and didn't have to do any heavy lifting, I'm feeling tonight as if I've pushed a reluctant Buick up Mount Tamalpais. I'm in, but I look around at the debris and wonder when I'll feel at home here, and when I'll feel as if I'm able to work efficiently again. Most of this week will be spent just putting everything into a less random order than it is now.

I should stop for awhile, though. I should stop for now and rest my back, arms, legs, neck, eyes, hands, feet, hair. It all hurts, and it could all stand some down time. But every time I sit for a minute, I think of something I need to do. Or I think of something I can't find that for some reason must be located immediately. Or I remember that I have to be ready for the phone guy and the cable guy first thing tomorrow.

In fact, I've been up and down three times since I started writing this a half hour ago.

Things are shaping up, though. I started with the vaguest notion of how I wanted all the furniture, files and equipment arranged. Some of it was tolerable, but the idea that I wanted my desk in the middle of the living room turned out to be less suitable. After the family left and I took a long, calm look at the layout, the flaws started to introduce themselves to me, one by one. It just made more sense to be back closer to the supply shelves and file boxes, and to open up the room so it seemed less cramped.

There's no point in having a bigger house if I end up just as closed in as I was in the hovel I just left.

I was up all last night, packing away the last of the Stuff. Computer, TV, stereo — these were the things that I held out on the longest. At 5:17 this morning, I'd reached a point where there was nothing more I could do, so I sat on the couch and started reading. I nodded off about 5:30, but at 6:00, I was awake, remembering a drawer I'd forgotten to empty. Then I realized I hadn't stripped my bed yet.

It went on like that until Eric arrived just before eight. A few minutes later, John, Suzanne and David pulled up with the big trailer, and somehow we managed to get almost everything into it - two beds, two dressers, several bookcases, the sofa, the refrigerator, two TVs, all the computer equipment, and box after box of the bits and pieces of my life, from kitchen utensils to bathroom items.

Did I say "we" loaded the trailer? I guess what I meant was that I did what I could but let the younger, stronger people do the heavy lifting. I didn't take time out for photos, so all I got was this one of John closing the door on my Stuff.

It's only about a fifteen-minute drive across town, and it's an easy trip on an Easter Sunday morning. It had taken us barely an hour to load, and it took less time than that to get the trailer unloaded. I was forced to make quick decisions about what went where. I'd thought about it, of course, but until things started to take shape, I couldn't be sure of what I really wanted.

To be honest, I still don't know how things are going to look here, even a week from now. I can see improvements I'd like to make, as I sit here at the keyboard. Eric was here for awhile this afternoon helping, and I talked through some of my ideas with him. I wasn't satisfied with how my bed is oriented, but we decided to leave it as it was.

The fact is, I need even more Stuff to make this place into the home I want it to be. The TV stand in my office sits too low, so that I can barely see it over my desk.

That won't be a problem during the day, since I don't watch while I'm working, but sometimes in the evening I sit at the computer with the TV on. It helps me remember I'm not alone in the world. I like the sound of voices, and the incidental noises of people going about their lives, real or imagined. Even if I'm not paying attention, I can feel more connected to the world that way.

We met this afternoon for Easter dinner at Mom's. She lives just a few miles from my new home. It was fun being together with the family. We have our own lives and sometimes don't see each other as often as we'd like, especially with all of us there. We laughed a lot today, although some of that could be the residual effects of staying up all night. I was a little unfocused, and maybe a little giddy from the excitement of the day.

The party broke up early and I came back to my new house and worked a bit longer at making it into a home. David came by to help me string speaker wire. I thought that was important, and I appreciated his expertise. He knows how to use tools, while I barely know how to hold them.

It'll be an early night. I'm not connected yet, so I can't read through my links. It's going to take me a while to catch up, with everything that's going on. It's just as well that I can't get started, because I think I could use the sleep. If you were here, I'd say good night.

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