It was a perfect spring day, and the Boss left me alone. I got a lot of work done, which is good because I let myself get way behind over the last week or so. I'm not saying I'm caught up, but I'm a lot closer than I was a day ago.
So why are chairs overturned in my house? Why are my fists bruised from punching the wall?
The only thing that could put me in that bad a mood on such a promising day is internal. My ability to control my reactions to small inconveniences has been compromised. It's the usual culprit that's responsible. Lack of sleep (along with that fellow traveler, allergies (as in sneezing my head off)).
And yes, I do blame the time change for at least part of the problem. My schedule, both waking and sleeping, has been disrupted. I ate dinner so early today that I was hungry again before it was even fully dark. My afternoon nap was from 3:40 to 3:55 pm, and that just didn't do it for me. Too short, too restless.
There's no use trying to analyze the problem in any more depth than this. It's a permanent, temporary problem. I will always have trouble sleeping, but I'll always find ways to cope. It might take a weekend, or a little weekday downtime.
I'm lucky, you know, to work at home, because I can give in to my own limitations in a way that minimizes them. In the old days, when I worked in an office with other live bodies nearby, I still fell asleep at my desk from time to time. I don't think the Boss ever knew about it, any more than he knows how I spend my days now.
Results are all he cares about, thank goodness. It's kind of a shame that even my results are suffering lately. I'll come through this rough patch one more time. But I once had a boss who told me that success depended on how many times you were willing to answer the bell. Not able, but willing. On days like this, I'm not sure I can tell the difference. |