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Thursday, August 28, 2003

Am I losing it? Am I going un poco loco? Or is it just late in the week, and is the accumulated lack of sleep catching up with me, as usual? I'm not sure, because I did something today that I haven't done before. (And by the way, is there such a thing as an "accumulated lack" of anything?)

Ordinarily when I walk out to the mailbox in the afternoon, I take the cordless phone with me. It doesn't work all the way to the end of the drive, but it does work about three-quarters of the way there. And back, too, come to think of it. It's become a habit to grab it as I go out the front door to check the mail.

This afternoon I found myself halfway down the driveway with the TiVo remote in my hand. I knew it didn't feel right, but I looked at it as if maybe it had morphed into the wrong device. I half expected it to ring anyway, and then laugh at me when I tried to answer it. But it wasn't going to ring. Out there under the eucalyptus grove, it wasn't even going to change the channel.

It wasn't going to pause live action or replay the last seven seconds, either. If it would do that in real life the way it does on my TV screen, I'd carry it around with me everywhere. Who couldn't use a "do over" every so often? (Or fifty times a day?) I'd probably just use it to get to the front of the bank line, though.

When I realized it was my own mistake and not a freakish act of nature that had brought me to this sorry state, I shoved the remote into my pocket. Then I looked around to make sure I was alone. I was so alone that even the birds and lizards missed my little pantomime. No one could see me, and no one cared, but I was embarrassed anyway.

Not embarrassed enough not to write about it in my journal, of course. That takes something on a little grander scale. I haven't reached that threshold yet this week.

21 August 2003

Near sunset.

But wait! That's just the most obvious example of early onset stupidity. I went to the bank this morning to deposit my paycheck, except that I forgot to take the check with me. I was already in line when I remembered that I forgot. That was a brilliant move, but not as brilliant as agreeing to meet the Boss for breakfast at 10:30 Sunday morning. That was a stroke of sheer genius.

What in the world was I thinking? He even gave me an out. "We can make it later if you want." Well, I know him well enough to realize that he picked that time for a reason known only to him. My best diplomatic move was to leave it alone and find a way to get out of bed in time to get there. So that's what I did; I left it alone. As out of it as I was today, I wasn't dumb enough to antagonize the Boss over something that doesn't matter.

Besides, Monday is a holiday. If I want to, I can leave the phone off all day and sleep through till Tuesday.

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While browsing the obits today, I came across the story of a man who invented and patented a hand-held paper clip dispenser. Unfortunately, it only worked if the paper clips were bent, and the world discovered that it was easier to put on paper clips by hand. Not even his friends would tell him that, though. He was proud of his useless invention.

Recent recommendations can always be found on the links page.

One year ago: Convoluted
"I'd forgotten all about that peculiar class of people who believe that driving five miles an hour below the speed limit is actually safer than going along with everybody else."

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