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Thursday, August 5, 2004

I really don't know what it's going to take for me to get caught up on everything I need to do. I'm not just talking about work, either. I could spend a whole week cleaning this house and barely make a dent. I've let everything go, inside and outside, and I'm starting to get depressed by it.

The biggest problem is that I have no ambition to do anything more than the minimum I can do to get by. Now, before I start being too hard on myself, I should remember that I'm here working at any hour of the day or night that people need me, and I voluntarily give up free time on the weekends to get work done that I can't find time for during the week.

But I spend way too many hours during the day doing unproductive things, like sleeping and watching TV and reading gothic fiction and making to-do lists that will never be completed because for every item I cross off I can think of two more tasks that I've neglected while sleeping and watching TV and reading comic strips.

There's no solution to this problem. I'm not going to change. If I can get away with sleeping or watching TV or reading Entertainment Weekly, that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to neglect my work, but whatever can be put off will be put off. You can pretty much count on that.




18 July 2004

Shasta Lake.



I'm also feeling a little blue because Tammy and David and Aiden left today for Canada to visit Tammy's grandmother. They'll be back Sunday (and Tammy called me twice tonight from the airport to find out what was happening on Big Brother), but it's a strange sensation to have them out of town. At least I'll get a little dose of D.J. and Dakota tomorrow. That should help me through the weekend.




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