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Monday, August 1, 2005

Iíve come to the conclusion that sleep is overrated. I know this because I got a full eight hours of (medicated) sleep last night, and yet I was still miserable all day today. If Iím going to feel this lousy after all that sleep, I might as well stay up late and watch old movies (or old Survivor episodes) until I canít stay up any more. It couldnít make things any worse.

The fact that I took a sleeping pill last night accounts for the extra sleep time. It probably also accounts for the way I had to drag my body through the day, and also the fact that I woke up every hour or so during the night. It seemed like sound sleep because I couldnít move, but you donít get much rest when you canít stay asleep for more than an hour at a time.

Anyway, I might have to do away with that little experiment. This was the fourth Sunday night in a row that Iíve tried the pill, and I always felt that Mondays were better because of it. But the drop-off from Monday to Tuesday was pretty steep, and by Friday I was useless. This week, for some reason, the uselessness started on Monday.

This morning I manage to snap at several people, including some who have actual feelings. When I roar at the Boss, it sifts through him like air thatís only a little heavier than usual. When I yell at Julie, I can feel her deflating, right through the phone. Then I feel even worse than before.

So Iíve given up on trying to figure out how to get the right amount of sleep. Iíll just take it as it comes, whether itís two oíclock in the morning or two oíclock in the afternoon. It doesnít seem to do me any good anyway, so Iíll just consider it an inconvenient necessity and fight it as long as I have to.

26 July 2005

Trees to the south.

I was of little use to my family today, although I did drop in on Tammy to see how she was doing. She was well attended by Suzanne and Mom, so I didnít stay long. Thatís probably a good thing, because Iíd hate to have snapped at any of them. That probably wouldnít have happened, since the time I spent there was the high point of my day. It was the only time I felt like part of the human race.

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Whatever the Giants need to get through this season, it isnít for Barry Bonds to come back for a few games and then have to go back on the disabled list. The team might be 14 games under .500, but theyíre also only five and a half games out of first place. Based on their history, theyíre probably going to be a better team next year, with Bonds or without him. But thereís no doubt theyíll be better with him than without him, so he should probably follow his doctorsí advice and spend the winter getting ready to play. And management should probably spend the winter trying to find a couple more starting pitchers at least as good as the ones theyíve traded away this season.

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