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Monday, December 11, 2000

I thought I was doing so well, on this new schedule. I update the journal some time during the day, so that I don't have to stay up all night cleaning and polishing. I let myself fall asleep (earlier than before) in the warmth of the loft, and then haul myself downstairs to bed. I wake up early, refreshed and ready to run.

That's how it was working out until yesterday, when I ran out of gas in the middle of the afternoon. I was cruising, and I never saw the swamp until I drove right into it and sank like a rock. It was such a surprise that the very fact of realizing so suddenly how bone weary I felt almost shocked me back to life.

The success I've had for almost a week still gives me hope that this is just a temporary setback. I don't remember when I've had that many nights in a row when I could admit to a "good night's sleep." It's all in scheduling, and making sure that I'm ready to shut down at the same time every night. And that doesn't mean 2:00 or 3:00 am. (Midnight actually seems to be the best target time for me these days.)

Whatever hit me yesterday, I didn't see it coming. But maybe I should have. I woke up Sunday morning in the midst of a violent dream. Since I never remember my dreams, this could have been a warning of turbulence to come. I must not have slept as well as usual that night, although I don't know why that would be.

Last night was better. I changed the sheets yesterday (long overdue) and wore one less layer of clothing to bed. I think overheating might have been the cause of a restless night's sleep. Anyway, so far today: good.

The highlights of the dream, as I remember it: I was rolling something across the top of a sloped driveway on a utility cart. I picked it up (whatever it was) and the cart rolled down the driveway into a parked car (Suzanne's van?), which got pushed into a steel fence, flipped over and caught on fire. I remember chasing the cart down the driveway and not being able to catch it in time. And that's all.

That's so different from the few dreams I usually remember. Ordinarily I dream about complications in a spreadsheet I've been working on all day. When I was learning HTML, I'd dream in code, tags and all. Now, maybe I have these more physical dreams every night and can't remember them, but it's been a long time since I've had one that vivid. Well, as far as I can recall, anyway. (And I realize this is pretty tame.)

The book I'm reading now is The Devil's Code, by John Sandford. It's one of the novels I got from the book club because I forgot to send the card back in time. It's different from the kinds of books I'm drawn to. I don't read techno-thrillers, and the mysteries I like are more genteel. English, mostly.

It's a quick read, because I skim over the hyper-technical stuff about explosives and security systems. But I couldn't get through a whole day without a break from it, so Saturday I devoted about half my reading time to The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon (I Mean Noel), by Ellen Raskin. Yeah, I know, more my speed.

Whenever I buy a book for a young friend, I pick up an extra volume or two. That way I have a choice of which one to give the child, and something extra for me, in a genre that suits my tastes. And it'll help me get around my resolution not to buy myself any new books (or CDs or DVDs) after the new year. (This is going to make one book club and a couple of record clubs unhappy with me.)

This idea came from Beth originally. My plan is to add the books (and CDs and DVDs) I want to my wish list, and then distribute the link to family and friends, if they ask. (I can't link to it now because at the moment it has mostly things I added for other people's presents. That really is a wish list.)

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