My frustrating Saturday (which ended well, so don’t be alarmed) actually began Friday night, as I was getting ready for bed and found ants in my bathroom. That’s not something you need in the middle of the night. There weren’t very many of them, and there was no obvious reason they were there, and I couldn’t tell where they came from, so all I did was wipe them out, spray a little ant death on the counter, and go to bed.

Then this morning, when I went to pour my first cup of coffee, the ants were on my kitchen counter. Not the same ants, probably, because they were already dead. But cousins, aimlessly wandering around over and under my cutting board. They weren’t finding much sustenance, and if I’d left them alone they might have died of starvation, or boredom. But again I wiped them out, sprayed, and cleaned everything in sight. Vigorously. That’ll show ’em. Or it would if they were as smart as they’re portrayed to be.

If I thought ants had any purpose, other than as models for cute Disney movies and examples of peaceful nation building and an industrious work ethic, I might feel bad about killing them with such relish. I felt a little guilty when I banged that field mouse over the head with a shovel, even though the mouse was making itself at home on my back porch and making holes in my sliding screen door. But mice have been cute cartoon characters for a long time, so I probably should feel something. Ants are just a nuisance, like dust bunnies and cobwebs. I deal with them ruthlessly. (I could probably stand to be just as ruthless with dust bunnies and cobwebs, come to think of it.)

Umm, where was I? If I knew where the ants were coming from, I’d be able to stop them there. If I knew what they were after, I’d remove it. I’m thinking maybe these ants are just coming in out of the cold. It’s been getting down below freezing at night, and I’m pretty sure our California ants aren’t up for that. They don’t much care for the wet weather, either, so they randomly flee the elements and wind up wherever they wind up, sometimes in the bathroom, and sometimes in the kitchen. If I looked closely, I might find them other places as well. I don’t plan to look that closely, though.

Then this afternoon, I went to the local variety store to pick up some extra wrapping paper. I had something specific in mind, and I didn’t find it there, but I would have compromised and bought something else if I hadn’t seen the sign that said the rolls were on sale. You buy one and you get one free, if you have a coupon. There were handwritten signs all up and down that aisle, with “with coupon” underlined. I didn’t have a coupon. I didn’t appreciate having to pay double just because I hadn’t read their ad, so I walked out without buying anything. That’ll show ’em. Sometimes you have to make a point, even if nobody gets it.