One of these days I’m going to figure out what makes people tick. Or maybe not. I probably would have it all sorted out by now, if I were ever going to. I see a world where people deliberately distance themselves from each other for the most absurd reasons. I can’t stand it. It hurts my heart.

Maybe it’s me. It must be me. I’m the one with the functional inability to deliberately make someone feel bad. I can dislike certain kinds of people, and I can be jealous or resentful or disappointed or offended. I can even tell someone how I feel, but I can’t turn my back on anyone for one mistake, and I won’t judge them based on a single action or personality trait. Not if there’s a good reason to overlook or forgive or give that person a little leeway (not to mention the right to be true to oneself).

Back in the days when I spent more time out in the world, I worked in harmony with all kinds of people, including a particular someone no one else could get along with. (Oh, yes. I’m thinking of a name.) Some people simply don’t know how not to be difficult, or don’t care. I can tell you I didn’t like that about this person, and she knew it. But I never wanted to cut her out of my life, because she had so much to offer.

She never changed her personality, but as time went on and she got a little wiser in the ways of the world, I saw her make an effort to be more tolerant of what she always thought were the shortcomings of others (because they didn’t fit into the narrow categories and definitions that suited her). For her, most of the time it was easier to distance herself from anyone who didn’t act the way she thought they should.

For me, I’m glad I didn’t turn that same spotlight on her, or I might never have known that she could be a better person (by, admittedly, my own somewhat broader definition).

And if I didn’t make summary judgments about a person I merely worked with, I obviously wouldn’t do anything to strain a family relationship. We’ve had problems within the family, as every family does, and it’s become necessary to cut out certain elements to save the rest of us.

But it takes an awful lot of very bad behavior to make a family member so repugnant that they have to be written off to save the rest from pain. It takes more than a mistake or a misjudgment or a bad choice, that’s for sure. The person has to be evil and malicious, and I’m glad to say there’s no one in my life now that fits into that category.