A bullet I've been dodging for at least a year finally caught up with me this weekend. The warning signs were all there, but I chose to ignore them because I was getting by. I'm not sure if I'm going to get by one more time, though. This time I might need professional help.

I'm talking, of course, about ear wax. Yesterday wasn't the first morning I ever woke up with my ear plugged up so badly I couldn't hear. It happens every so often, especially when I sleep with that side (the right) directly on the pillow. But every other time in the last year it's been okay by the time I got out of the shower.

This time, no dice. I still couldn't hear, and it still felt as if someone had stuffed a cheese log in my ear. (Gertrude and Claudius gettin' creative after watching too much Emeril.) I still thought it would get better, but by mid afternoon I was ready to try a remedy that hadn't worked before. The last time I used ear drops, I ended up going to the doctor and having him (actually his able assistant) flush out my ear with the power washer.

And it didn't work again, or hasn't so far anyway. I slept very badly last night and in fact never even bothered to get off the couch and into bed. I woke up this morning at nearly eleven, so I must have finally drifted off some time around dawn. It wasn't comfortable there, but at least I was in a position where the ear probably wasn't going to get any worse.

Even though I still can't hear a lick out of that ear, I have a feeling the repeated use of the ear drops is helping. That feeling comes from the fact that I've seen actual physical results in the bathroom sink, if you know what I mean. It wasn't enough to get my hearing back, but I do feel a little lighter in the head. In this case, that's definitely a good thing.

Yeah, I know. If I can't work it out on my own I'll call the doctor. The wedding is a week from today, and I don't want to have to pretend to feel better than I do. But I will, if I have to.

I've learned a couple of things about being half deaf over the last two days. First of all, it throws off your whole system. I had no appetite last night (which is okay because I couldn't get to the grocery store anyway). I've felt blah and nauseous all day, and a little ticked off at the people on the street who didn't care I was feeling lousy because they couldn't tell. It's irrational, but there you go.

And the other thing I learned is that you can't eat Raisin Bran Crunch and watch TV at the same time, because it echoes so loudly inside your head. I mean, it's the only thing you can hear, that crunching sound! I turned the game back on later, when I was eating a banana.