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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

If thereís anything Iím really good at, itís taking a little pebble of doubt and worry and turning it into a mountain, bypassing the molehill stage altogether. If you need something to worry about, just tell me your problems, and Iíll construct a worst-case scenario that will make them seem ten times worse than they are. I have loads of experience and a certain natural aptitude.

While Iím not very good at fighting dragons, and I often fight grasshoppers as if they were dragons, today I tried a new tactic in the war on negative thinking. I tried not thinking at all, with some modest success. Somehow the day went by with minimal sign of mountain or molehill, until I collapsed with exhaustion at the end and looked up to see what I had done.

The only way I know for sure that I accomplished anything today is by the big pile of outgoing mail on the corner of my desk. I hope I did everything right, because I donít remember doing any of it, specifically. Yet there it is, a testament to the fact that keeping busy is the best way to keep from stewing about problems, the ones I can control and the ones I canít.

Of course, the best way to dampen worries about problems I can control is to do something about them. Like solve them, for example (or hand them off to someone else, always one of my preferred options). I couldnít do much about what was on my mind today, so I tried to keep it off my mind. I couldnít have concentrated enough to do anything that required concentration, but I could keep busy with busywork.

3 January 2010

So I was a little worried about Momís health today. She thought she might have pneumonia again, as she did last year when she gave us a scare, and Suzanne took her to the doctor. I kept busy to keep my mind from constructing worst-case scenarios, and since the day went by in a blur, I guess it worked.

By the time the day was ending and I still hadnít heard, that old feeling in the pit of my stomach started coming back. But then I got the call, and while the diagnosis was, indeed, pneumonia, she has been given an antibiotic powerful enough that, with rest, she should be fine in a week or so. Weíll have to revisit that rosy prospect after a few days, but I feel better because she feels better. Iím still weary from scaling molehills and wrestling grasshoppers, though.

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This being the last day of Holidailies, I again want to thank Chip and Jette for hosting the platform, and also the readers' panel for honoring my December 31 entry as one of the Best of Holidailies. It's been a blast! (Although I missed posting this on the portal by about an hour, since I forgot they were on Central Time.)

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