We had a mix of all ages at our Fourth of July celebration at Suzanne and John's house today. There were children frolicking in the grass, young people having fun, and older people having even more fun (because we've had more practice, I guess). David barbecued marinated chicken, everybody brought some kind of a dish or snack or drinks, and we ended the day with a pyrotechnic spectacle in the end of the cul-de-sac. Good food, good friends, memories of good times shared and plans for more good times soon to come. All in all, it was a good holiday.

This morning I slept in and then did some low-key work on the computer. Maintenance, more than actual work, the kind you do when you have something more important that you don't really want to get started on, so you just start reorganizing files and directories, deleting some old stuff and generally tidying up the hard drive.

I didn't do anything that took any coherent thought, because I haven't been able to think coherently all day. I don't know if it's general malaise, brought on by the money troubles the Company is having all of a sudden, or something physical. I have to say that I probably stayed outside in the cool evening air without a sweatshirt just a little too long tonight.

Anyway, I had a great day, but I was low on energy, even for me. The scratchy throat will probably be gone by morning, but now I have to face working on edge about whether we're going to be able to meet payroll this week, and where the next revenue is coming from.

It's the same old situation we've always dealt with, just part of being a contractor. You do the work, and while you wait to get paid for it your own bills come due. Some can be put off, but many have to be paid, whether you've been paid or not.

But this time there is so much money owed to us that we know we won't collect for two or three weeks that we have to think about borrowing. The problem with that is that we're already borrowed almost to the maximum that our credit will allow.

The Boss's kid has missed one paycheck, and he's the superintendent who is most responsible for putting work in place. It's ironic that the guy who makes us the most money is the same guy who doesn't get to see any of it because it takes so long to collect it.

This is all coming at a time when I'd like to plan on getting away for a few days. John and Suzanne are leaving Friday for two weeks on the houseboat, and I'm invited for as much of that time as I can afford. I can't exactly pick up and leave, though, when I have to focus on the paperwork necessary to get us paid. It would be more than awkward to walk away while our key man is working without a paycheck.

I'm just boxed into a corner that I can't seem to find my way out of. That means: sleepless nights. Which in turn means: sluggish, lethargic days when I'm not producing at my best. Which goes on to mean: more work piling up, important tasks getting pushed aside, more stress.

We've been in this situation before and worked our way out of it, somehow. I just wish I had an idea if and when I'll be able to get up to the lake and not have to think about it all for a few days.