|
Here’s a secret I’d like to share with you. Saturday might be the end of life as we know it. And I’m the only one with a clue (although I’m spreading the word as judiciously as possible).
The thing is this. Here’s the thing. Tim is planning a surprise birthday party for his father (the Boss) at The Kennel. I don’t know the details, but it’s going to be big. A lot of people have been invited. A pig is going to be roasted. Hula girls have been hired. (And those are really the only details I do know, so I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t know the details. Oh, except that I paid $500 for the souvenir T-shirts he plans to give away.)
This party could be a surprise for Tim, too, because the Boss is planning on being at his ex-wife’s house that day. I’ve discussed this with the ex, and also with Julie. Not together, of course, because they don’t speak to each other at all. And the ex doesn’t speak to Tim, even though he’s her son. And Tim won’t listen to Julie, although she’s a whole lot smarter than he is.
The one person I haven’t discussed this with (other than the Boss, so as not to spoil the “surprise”) is Tim. I don’t know where he is. He’s apparently very busy making plans. If he were a real party planner, I’d be a lot more serene about this whole deal. I seriously doubt that he has any clue what he got himself into.
The Boss is going to freak, whether he’s there for the party or not. He’s going to feel that things are happening beyond his control. He specifically told members of his own family that he didn’t want a big birthday party. He’s also going to wonder how much this is costing. And then, somewhere down the line, he’s going to find out.
Tim asked me if there was any way he could be reimbursed by the business for what he’s spending on the party without the Boss finding out. He considers it a legitimate promotional expense, which might be true, but I told him there was no way the Boss wouldn’t find out. He gets copies of every check I write, and if one is missing I get a note asking where it is. He follows every nickel from the mint to the scrap pile. As much as he hates surprises, he hates discrepancies even more.
Oh, yes. This is not going to be fun. And there’s nothing I can do about it. The people I’ve discussed it with don’t think there’s anything they can do either, mostly because nobody can talk to Tim. He knows everything. If you tell him the world is round, he’ll push you off the edge of it. | 
