Self-destructive? Nah. Not me. It's just that, after not getting to sleep until after 4:00 am this morning, I found myself eating baked beans at 9:00 pm tonight. That's pretty much asking for it, don't you think? It was a whole can of beans, too, but at least it was one of those small cans. (It was still 16 ounces, but the can was small.)

It's just that when I first got back from almost making it to the T-ball game, I had no appetite, and I didn't think I'd be able to eat at all. I drove to Cotati, couldn't figure out where to go, and drove home. This is fairly typical of how I am when traveling to places I haven't been before. If it's not easy, I panic. And with so little sleep I was in no condition to cope.

It's too bad, because I really wanted to see that game. It's been years and years since anyone in the family has been in youth sports. I almost never missed a baseball, soccer or basketball game when my nephews were in school. Now that the next generation is starting, I wanted to keep that tradition alive.

What I didn't want was to be ten years older than the last time I went to a Little League game. And to feel it.

Anyway, there will be other games, and they'll probably be on days when I feel better than I did today. That's what I'm counting on. Plus, it's just getting started. D.J. is only five, Dakota is three, and Aiden won't graduate from high school until 2022. I'm not even going to try to figure out how old I'll have to get to last that long. I'll just try to enjoy the years in between as much as possible.

By the time I found the field, there were so many cars lining the surrounding streets that I had no idea where to park. At least I have the comfort of knowing that with so many people milling around, D.J. probably doesn't even know that I missed his game. I know, though. That's why I want to make a better effort next time.