The trouble with relying on web sources for my news is that when I don't have a connection, I don't know what's going on. Sometimes that's a blessing, for the same reason that I've deliberately avoided television news for most of the last year. The feeling of being helplessly overwhelmed is too easy to give in to. It's better to be blissfully ignorance.

No, I don't strictly believe that. I wish I did, because that would make life so much easier. I could go on with the petty details of my job and my house and driving around in my car, and pretend that it all has a larger meaning in the world. What I can't pretend is to be unaffected by all the horrible things that are happening. I just try not to let them spill over into my safe places.

A person could drown in bad news and never see the lifeline thrown out by family and friends and hope for a better future. That would be wrong, maybe even more wrong than pretending the bad news doesn't exist. It's a balancing act, and I'm teetering, but holding on. So far.

Today wasn't a day to celebrate much. The news is surrealistically bad, beyond all the nightmarish predictions. It can be emotionally draining to hear what's happening in Iraq and elsewhere, day after day, so much so that a gut-wrenchingly awful "mistake" can almost seem not as bad as it really is. I don't feel good about reaching that point, because I think we're in for many more days like this, for a long time to come.