For several weeks Suzanne and I have been trying to find an opportunity to have lunch together, and today was the latest chance. Either I've been too busy or she has, and then I got sick. But I willed myself to be well enough to make it today, and it worked. I'm still not sure I'm completely over my recent bout with swamp fever, but I'm on my way.
When I saw my hair in the mirror this morning, I almost decided to bail anyway. I have about one good hair day a week, and this wasn't it, but I worked on it until it was a little less ridiculous. Then when I was walking to the post office I noted another serious problem. My Levi's are just not comfortable any more. I should have realized sooner, because I've been walking around with this situation for a few weeks now.
So instead of coming straight home from the post office, I made a side trip to the mall and bought a larger pair. I've never worn a 36 waist in my life, until today, but the sense of relief was worth the extra stress of driving through noontime city traffic. My on again-off again diet has been too often off again. No absolute binges, just a slip here and there. But they add up. Literally.
Size, apparently, does matter. I never thought of myself as a 36, so even when I knew the 34s were strangling me in places I shouldn't have to be strangled, that's the size I bought last time. Something broke the cycle today and provided me with a little epiphany. It's just not worth it, for pride's sake or ancient habit or whatever possessed me to buy those 34s again, when I knew they'd be too small.
So I'm sort of a new man tonight. We had a wonderful lunch and I ate it all (without having to unbutton anything). I haven't given up on the diet, but I've given up on squeezing into the denims of some other person that I used to be. Maybe I'll be that person again some day, maybe not. I'm keeping the 34s, but they're going to the back of the closet for now.