I made a determined effort to be happy today, or at least upbeat. I tried hard not to let the pressure get to me, and for most of the day it worked. I made it to mid afternoon without a meltdown.

Then, at about 3 pm, something hit me, hard. I don’t know what it was or where it came from, but I was reeling, dizzy and lightheaded, and a little short of breath. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’d contracted sudden-onset malaria. I had to lie down. In the middle of the day.

Somehow I rallied, but I felt weak. I know it wasn’t hunger that was doing this to me, because I’d eaten breakfast and lunch. Could it have been stress, do you think? I’ve been on edge all week over this first billing cycle at The Kennel.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do the billing, or didn’t think I could do it. It was simply that I couldn’t get started until I had some information, and I didn’t know what that information was. And nobody was communicating with me, so I wasn’t even sure anyone was worrying about this but me.

I’m getting stressed all over again, just remembering.

Somehow I got through it, and it’s a good thing I did, because all the information I was looking for came through at about 5:30 pm. Of course I started working on it immediately, and I spent two hours getting the billing notices ready.

I made it halfway through the list before I hit a brick wall and couldn’t continue without some input. I could have phoned the Boss and asked my question, but I chose not to. I think that would have put me back on Stress Row, and I didn’t need to push myself over the edge when it was so easy to get there in the first place.