But wait, this was about me, wasn't it? If anthrax and bad drivers don't kill me, it could be the copy machine, which lately spends entire days with its fingers around my throat.
When the automatic document feeder doesn't work, it's frustrating enough. The big deal is that I can never figure out how to fix it. I read the manual, and I follow the instructions (which are translated into English from the original Venusian). Every one of the twenty-three indicator lights on the machine has its own three- or four-letter abbreviation, which tells me nothing.
What's the difference, for example between ADF and SADF? According to the book, ADF stands for "continuous-feed mode," while SADF stands for "single-feed mode."
I don't get it either, but if you push the wrong button you get into an endless loop where the same wrong thing keeps happening, over and over, until somehow, after about an hour of pushing the buttons in different combinations (and throwing a chair across the room, knocking over a speaker and almost breaking a window when the candle holder on top of it falls against the glass; this part is not in the manual, and therefore optional), it works again. For awhile, until it doesn't.
So there you go. My office equipment is trying to kill me, and has a much better chance of success all the white powder in Saddam Hussein's factories. And that's why I'm not letting myself worry about anthrax.