It's awfully hard to pay bills when there's no money. That's what I did today, though. I actually have more money in my personal account than in the company account. That's because we're carrying a negative balance, and it's my hope that people who have promised not to deposit our checks follow through on those promises.

I had to borrow from the credit line today. I've been putting it off all week, hoping that the big checks from the state would start rolling in. They may be rolling, but they're not in, and I had no choice. Naturally, as soon as that money was in the bank, the Boss told me how to spend it all, so now we're broke again.

The Big Project that fell through required us to put up a $25,000 cashier's check as bond. That's a big cash drain on a company that's spending money faster than it's coming in, but since we were eliminated from the competition last week, the owner is returning our check. That should help, if it ever gets here. I'm not counting on it right away. I've learned not to count on anything.

At 4:30 this afternoon, Tim phoned. He wanted to discuss, of all things, money. He told me he had to ask me a few questions, because when he talks to the Boss about money he can't get him to answer his questions. That's because, as I've tried many times to explain, he asks the wrong questions.

Tim thinks of the cash that flows through the company as revenue, without wanting to take into account the value of the contracts and the costs to complete them. He's trying to get more involved in how the company is run, but he doesn't have the patience to try to make sense of corporate accounting methods.

Finally I just gave up. He wanted a list of checks we've received this year, and I gave it to him. That list, taken out of context, means nothing. But if it makes him happy to think that he's figured things out this way, I'm perfectly willing to enable that happiness. At least it gets him off the phone.

Was my whole day all about money? Well, no, not at all. I had coffee with a friend this morning, and I got to spend the evening with Tammy and David and the boys. I probably should write more about all that and less about the frustrations of work, but this stuff weighs on me all day every day, to the point that I'm not much fun any more. D.J. and Dakota don't care, though. They're happy to see me. But you don't want to hear how adorable my grandnephews are again, do you?

Well, okay then. They were in good spirits tonight. Of course, Dakota always seems happy. Tonight he was shutting himself in the bottom cabinet of the entertainment center, then throwing the doors open and yelling, "Ta da!" He's also cheerfully going through potty training, doing his best to produce what everybody seems to want.

He seems to have decided that when I'm there, I should put the toy watch around his wrist. Then take it off for him. Then put it on, and take it off. Eventually he gets bored with that game and moves on to something else. Once while I was doing that tonight, he started singing, quite clearly, "Happy Birthday to You." I never know what he's going to come up with, and I don't think he does, either.

D.J. was just plain silly, but that was okay because it suits him. He was making everybody laugh, and that made him happy. He's a pretty smart little guy and loves to put words together. Sometimes what he says doesn't make sense, but it always sounds good. Tammy asked him if he wanted to have a slumber party at my house some time, and he said, "Yes, and I want to take one toy." He ran into his room to pick out something. I guess he thought we were leaving right then.

And, as good little children should, they both disappeared when it was time for Survivor to come on.

All of which goes to prove something. Maybe that you can have empty pockets but a full heart. Something totally sappy like that.