Why yes, I did work out on the treadmill today. I did, that is, if by working out you mean slow-flat-walking for half an hour. Everybody told me to take it slowly at first, and I took the advice to heart. They also told me not to go flying off the back of the thing, and I managed to follow that advice as well. In fact, I kept the kill switch clipped to my waist the whole time, so the worst that could have happened would have been pretty minor injuries anyway.

Since I’ve never been to a gym and never used a treadmill before, I had only my imagination (and what I’d seen on TV) to give me a clue of what to do. That, and the instruction book. I also had my instincts, which told me to hold onto the handlebars, mostly for balance. I’m sure there will come a time when I can let go and pump my arms as I work out, but it didn’t feel right this first time.

It was already past noon when I got back from the hardware store with the cord I needed to plug in the treadmill. By that time I should be working, not working out, but I couldn’t resist. (I worked until after 9:00 tonight, in case you were thinking of pointing a waggly finger my way.) And anyway, I stayed on the treadmill for only half an hour, and I never got over 3.0 miles per hour. The machine goes up as high as 12 mph, but isn’t that a five-minute mile? Are they kidding? Don’t anybody accidentally push the “12” button while I’m on it, okay?

I also never tried an incline of more than 2.5 percent. That scale goes up to 12, too, but I’m not ready for that yet. I knew that if I wanted to be in any condition to work out again tomorrow, I’d have to take it easy today. Even so, I don’t know what my body will feel like in the morning, but my plan is to put some time in every day, until the day comes that I can’t.