Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after. That’s my philosophy and I’m sticking with it. It has served me well, because today, the last day I could possibly have put it off until, I finished working on the material the auditor wants to look at tomorrow. I’m ready for him, and now all there is to do is get him in and out of here so I can get on with the rest of my life. Which I’ll try to do tomorrow, or the day after.

This morning I woke up thinking I would have to get everything done today. That’s not the way I like to feel in the morning, but I overcame it. I had every intention of going to the bank and doing some grocery shopping, but you know how that goes. It was all foggy and dreary and I didn’t think much of the idea of mingling with tellers and checkers and shoppers. So the new plan is to do the banking and grocery shopping tomorrow morning. That should work out okay, since the auditor isn’t due until one o’clock in the afternoon.

As for all that cleaning I was planning to do, well, I cut it down to a minimum level of tolerance. I cleared off the table where the auditor will set up his laptop. I did it mostly by shredding all the pending credit card applications that expired in 2003. What kind of a person keeps things like that around for so long? I dusted on and around the table, and a few shelves within eyeshot of where he’ll be sitting. I ran the vacuum around the immediate vicinity.

What I didn’t do was: I didn’t straighten out all the loose papers strewn all through the rest of the house. I didn’t try to hide the piles of CDs, DVDs, magazines (including some from 2003, I think), file folders, and ads from the Sunday newspaper (three weeks ago). I didn’t clean the bathroom (and here I’m taking it on faith that he won’t go in there, because no other auditor has ever asked to use my bathroom, even after I’ve spent a whole day scrubbing it down).

And now, I’m ready for my audit (Mr. DeMille). I’m not necessarily ready for any curve balls he throws at me, or any attitude. The letter he sent, warning me of the impending audit, was full of attitude (which he called a “friendly reminder” that if I had all my records in order, I could avoid having to go into his office and do the audit on less friendly (but probably cleaner) turf). This isn’t the same auditor I had last year, so I’m being cautious. But I’m done with getting ready, no matter what possibilities occur to me in the middle of the night.