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With the Boss still in Texas for at least another day or two, this should have been a no-pressure day. I could make my own agenda and plow through whatever needed to be done, without interruption. The only trouble with that scenario is that this was the first fully-committed work day in almost a week, what with the holidays and getting ready for the holidays and winding down from the holidays.
Under the circumstances, I guess I did all right. The circumstances were that I wasn’t exactly fully committed after all, and it took me most of the morning to get moving. By afternoon I began to realize what I’m up against. It’s amazing how well fear can hone a person’s concentration. There are so many bills to pay and so many spreadsheets to do before I’ll be ready for the new year, which starts This Coming Weekend.
And then once the new year arrives, it gets even worse. I’ll be on the hook for all of the government forms and taxes (sales and payroll), plus preparing the information that goes to the accountant so he can do financial statements and income taxes. For both companies. It’s pretty intimidating, from the perspective of someone who has been having a hard time getting started.
It’s not that I don’t think I can do it, or even that I don’t want to do it. It’s that I already know how much work it takes to get it all done, and it’s a spirit-crushing prospect, getting from here to there. I feel as if I’m balancing on a limb that’s about to break off the tree. The easiest thing would be to let myself fall, but I have to do what it takes to make sure I don’t.
Somehow, it all gets done every year. And I’m the one who does it. Years ago, I didn’t know enough to be intimidated by all the work this takes. Now, the only reason I’m not panic-stricken is that I know I’ve done it before. The fact that it can be done trumps the fear that it can’t. It’s the wisdom of age and experience (although many days I’d still like to crawl under a blanket and stay there until it all goes away). | 
