Winter is back! The timing couldn’t be worse, either. I’m stretched so thin in so many ways that I don’t have time to deal with cold and rain and mud at the same time. Last night I was up at 1:30 in the morning, setting out plastic containers on my computer desk to catch the drops of water falling from the cross beam above. How the rain was getting inside the house, with its mile-high vaulted ceiling, I have no idea. But it was.

The rain started early in the day yesterday, but it fell hard after dark, and the wind and rain in the early morning hours were so loud that I lost even more sleep. I could have used it, too, coming into a Monday after a weekend when I was unable to make any progress. Time passes whether I’m working hard or sitting around watching TV. Only one of those choices gets me closer to my goal, but it just wasn’t in me.

This was a really hard day for me to get through, and not just because of storm and sickness. It hit me as soon as I started working how neglectful I’ve been of the responsibilities of my job. It isn’t often that I get to the point where I’m face to face with so much work that can’t wait for one more day, or two or ten. The fact that this is February is part of the problem; there just aren’t enough days in the month to get it all done.

And I have to admit that physically I’m drained of all energy. That makes it doubly tough to work straight through the afternoon and into prime time, as I had to do today. Tomorrow will be another similar day, because I have payroll runs for two companies that have to be done. I wrote a lot of checks today, wrist brace and all, and I’ll have to spend as much time holding a pen tomorrow. It’s awkward, it’s painful, and it gets old really fast.

The roar of the rain, the howl of the wind, the flickering lights, and the stopped-up toilet that I always get whenever there’s this much water in the ground, all of this contributed to my mood today. But it was the exhaustion, and the allergies, and the general malaise that turned a gray day grayer. It was hard to get through it, and impossible to get through it with a satisfied mind. There were times during the day that I thought something more serious was wrong, but I’ll leave the resolution of that for tomorrow. I can’t help but think things will have to look a little brighter, even if the rain continues.