Like a train rolling through a deserted station, the thought occurred to me today that the only thing keeping me from finishing the Big Project is time. (Okay, maybe it’s more like a handcar than a train.) I don’t think I’ve ever considered it in quite those terms before. Now that I have a system, thinking is no longer necessary. It’s just a matter of doing it, and all I need is enough time.

Well, okay. Maybe I also need the will and desire and focus to get it all done. Maybe time isn’t the only factor, but if I could keep at it, I’d power through it like butter. I said all that to myself today as I tried to ignore the distractions, but it seems I’m not good enough at staying on task to make use of all the time I do have. There are 24 hours in a day, so even if I can only work in fits and spurts, that still should be enough.

The work I’m trying to do is easy and hard at the same time. It’s so easy it’s hard to keep my concentration. It’s hard enough that I can’t expect to do it without blocking out the distractions. It’s not like art, where the process is as important as the product. The only satisfaction I get out of it is having it completed and behind me, but that’s too far off right now to use as an incentive to keep at it until it’s done. It’s like reading a boring thriller, where you might as well skip to the last chapter, because plodding through the rest of the book isn’t worth it anyway.

And now the State of California has thrown a spanner into the works. I got a letter from the Employment Development Department today, telling me that the tax withholding tables I’ve been using since January 1 are incorrect. They told me where on their web site to find the new tables, and instructed me to start using them on my next payroll. Because I don’t have a payroll program, that means entering all of the information into my spreadsheets by hand.

If I thought I was going to work on the Big Project all weekend, or even have some free time, this totally screws that up. I was livid when I opened that letter and saw how much work is ahead of me, and all because some eejit in Sacramento didn’t take the time to check his work before mailing out the tax guide. I didn’t open this letter until the end of the day, when I thought my Friday was done and my weekend was beginning. I came very close to losing it, because I knew immediately what it meant.

And then I got to work on redoing the tables in Excel, and I kept at it until my neck and back wouldn’t let me go on. I got a lot done, but there’s a lot left to do, and I’m still in a state of shock over this. How can they let this happen? Why did they do this to me? And why is their letter so matter-of-fact about it? Couldn’t they at least have included an apology for the waste of my time? That might have made it a little easier to take.