I’m not sure why I thought things would be any different. I mean, we worked together and weathered the crisis. Everything is going to be okay, and by “okay,” I mean pretty darn good. But today was just another day for the Boss. He started early this morning, going over yet again all the problems we just got through solving (and can no longer do anything about, even if we did something wrong).

Then when I got back from the post office, there was a note on the fax machine, an invoice I’d paid recently with the words “Call me!” scribbled across it. Apparently I shouldn’t have paid that bill. And this afternoon he phoned and said “Tim want those cost reports,” as if I didn’t have enough to think about. I’ll get to those cost reports as soon as I get to them, and no sooner. I didn’t say that, but I didn’t have to. He could hear it in my voice.

The difference wasn’t in what happened, but in how I handled it. I didn’t panic. I didn’t throw things or kick things or punch the wall. I pounded on the desk, but just a little. Then I got on with my business, the stuff I knew I had to do today. It actually felt good to know that what I was doing was more important than what I’d been asked to do.

In fact, I feel good about a lot of things these days. It’s as if all we went through at the end of the year brought me through some kind of barrier, to a new place where I have a little more confidence. It’s been a long time coming, and it’s fragile, but it’s there.

It’s not as if I don’t think the Boss has the right to tell me what to do. He does, and I will do all the things he asked, just in their own proper time. I pretty much told him just that, in the tone of my voice when I said, “Okay.” A lot can be conveyed in a word and a sigh.