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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Itís hard for me to accept that Iíve let it get to July 25 and have done almost nothing about the taxes and reports I need to have finished by the end of the month. I mean, itís not my fault that itís July 25, but the rest? All on me.

I blame the heat. It was 108ļF Saturday and 107ļF Sunday, and by Monday it had cooled down to 102ļF. It might have stayed under a hundred today, but I canít say because Iíve taken to keeping the doors and drapes and blinds closed all day, and all the fans on full blast. Itís the only way I got through yesterday, and I barely made it. It was maybe a little easier today.

But I also blame the fact that Iíve been preoccupied with an internet connection problem. I get spotty connectivity, and the only reason Iím not a hundred percent sure itís because my DSL modem is wearing out is because my fax line has been in and out also, and the modem and fax share that line. Itís very frustrating, and Iíve been reminded how difficult it would be to live without the internet. I hadnít even realized I depended on it that much. Really.

Our annual devastating cash flow problem is another thing that Iíve been having to deal with, to the detriment of my sanity and peace of mind (not to mention my time). It seems worse this year because we have more projects going, and theyíre bigger than weíve had in years, and they have to be funded before we can start collecting on them. Itís nothing I havenít had to deal with in the past, it just seems worse this year. It seems worse every year, come to think of it.

2 June 2006

Streaks in the sky.

But really, I blame myself. I blame my own laziness and procrastination and inability to stay focused on anything long enough to get through it, until Iím up against a drop dead deadline with nowhere to run. I can come up with excuses galore, but thatís the reason, pure and simple. I donít work well under pressure, but I work even worse under no pressure.

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A little six-game road trip against two last-place teams didnít seem as if it would present much of a problem to the Giants, coming off a recent five-game winning streak that had them briefly in first place over the weekend. The Nationals were up to the challenge tonight in Washington, beating the Giants, 8-6, but donít blame Ray Durham. He has more home runs than any player in the last month, and tonight for the first time in his career he hit two, one left-handed and one right-handed. Unfortunately, the Giants might have come to DC a couple of days too early, as the Nationals seem to be on the verge of trading away their best player, Alfonso Soriano.

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One year ago: Overdone
"I should be singing songs of jubilation and/or spinning like a top."

Two years ago: Juiced
"If there's any kind of statute of limitations, I can't be prosecuted. I'm not sure I even did anything wrong. If anybody was being led astray, it was me."

Three years ago: Flash of Fire
"The gray morning sky was about to clear up when it suddenly got darker again, and much louder. Oh, a little rolling thunder. How curiously different."

Four years ago: High Speed
"I don't have to worry that he won't remember, because he believes everything I tell him. If I say he agreed to it, he won't question me any further."

Five years ago: Blinking
"It's a handy safety feature to have, except when it doesn't work."

Six years ago: Soothing Rhythm
"The less I have to think, the milder the headache."

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