Here’s the situation the Boss presented to me first thing out of bed this morning, before I could think as clearly as I’m obviously thinking now. Let’s say you run a kennel, and someone leaves his dog (or maybe it’s his badger) for six months without paying the room and board. What do you do? You can’t sell the badger, and you don’t want to kill it. I mean, it’s not like it’s a wolverine or something.

That’s what’s happening at The Kennel, except it isn’t a badger (it’s a boat, but let’s call it the Badger) and it isn’t room and board (it’s berthing fees). We placed a lien on the Badger, and late fees have been accumulating, and now the owner (or rather, the owner’s father) has decided he wants to pull the Badger out of your kennel. Even if he wanted to do it without paying back fees, there are other boats (can’t think of a metaphor) in his way.

So you tell the owner’s dad that he can have his Badger back if he pays all the back fees plus interest, and also has his son return some equipment his friends borrowed from other residents. Maybe it’s pet food and maybe it’s a winch or an anchor; it really doesn’t matter. The dad has been letting his son run wild for months and now he wants to slam the lid shut. Plus, he wants his Badger.

So first thing this morning, the Boss tells me to do a worksheet that shows the accumulated interest since the last payment, including interest on late charges and even interest on the lien fee we paid. He thinks the dad has agreed to pay, and he wants the exact amount. So I take great pains to make sure it’s accurate, and after several revisions it’s finally off my desk and I can move on to payroll. Which actually is on my to-do list.

And then it turns out that while I’m working frantically on this spreadsheet, the Boss and the dad have been negotiating, and they came up with an amount that’s a sort of rounded-off compromise that no one is happy with but everyone is satisfied with. Did anyone tell me? No, I kept working on what has now become a theoretical mathematics exercise. If I wanted to do math theory, I’d do it on my own time, not the day payroll is due. Sheesh.

At least I’m not the one who has to move the other boats out of the way so the Badger can float down the river.

Maybe if I don’t make a to-do list, I might actually get something done. Maybe if I don’t make any plans, I’ll find a way to follow through on a project. Maybe if I turn the phone (and fax) off, I can focus and concentrate and all those other things I can’t seem to pull off any more.

Lately it seems that everything is out of my hands. Even when I tell someone (the Boss) what I need (to be left alone so I can finish the payroll), I get something else (a sudden crisis that could have been averted with, you know, planning). The best-laid plans of someone else often derail mine, to quote the bard. (Assuming a million bards writing a million sonnets will say just about anything at least once.)