Always known for their innovations in customer service, my bank apparently has a new policy which dictates that no tellers are available until they see someone wandering around with a blank look on his face and a fistful of deposit slips in his hand. After a few seconds of that, it's all "I'll help you at this window."

The reason I didn't think any tellers were working was that every teller window now has a sign in front of it. These are the signs that used to say, "Please use next window." Now they say something like, "My name is Floyd. How may I help you?" In English and Spanish, with which I have no problem whatsoever. It's just that I thought they had closed all the windows and were having a party in the vault, or something like that. When I open my bank, my tellers will wear name tags and stand at their windows waiting for customers to come to them.

But wait. That was far from the most bizarre thing that happened today. As I was leaving for my errands this morning, I came to the end of my long driveway and discovered that someone had abandoned a fishing boat, upside down, at the entrance of the drive, keeping people out (which is fine) and also in (which isn't fine, because that's me). So I had no choice but to move it out of the way.

Fortunately, there is ample room for it on the landlord's side of the driveway, which he rarely uses because he enters the property with the shed from the other side, where his own house is situated. But I wouldn't have cared if I'd blocked his way. I just wanted to unblock my way and get out of there.

You don't really know how heavy a boat is, even a small boat, until you try to lift it. By yourself. On land. In ninety-degree weather. I had to scoot it, one end at a time, back and forth until I got it out of the way. Then I was back in my car, ready to proceed on my errands, when the mail truck drove in and blocked me.

The mailman and I had a good chuckle over the abandoned boat. I think it's good to have a rapport with your mail carrier. Because you never know, you know? You might need him some day, and you wouldn't want him to be disgruntled when you do. This guy is a jolly soul, though, and he was happy to see me, because it saved him a trip down the driveway with the package he was delivering. And I was happy to have moved the boat before he got there, or he might have been quite disgruntled indeed.

According to the flashing sign on the street that separates me from the post office, I need to use alternate routes, starting tomorrow through the end of the month. I don't know what work there is to do on that road that could take that long. It's not as if it's pitted with potholes, or that there would be room to widen it if they wanted to. It will be a few extra miles in one direction or another for me to get anywhere, if they are closing the road completely. They were already starting to repave the perfectly smooth section at the other end by the time I got back from my errands, so I'm not optimistic. On the other hand, a longer morning break and some new scenery can't be all bad.