Pacing. Staring into space. Wandering around the house, up and down the stairs inside, then all around the newly mown yard outside. Frequent necessary trips to the bathroom. Frequent unnecessary trips to the kitchen. Gnashing teeth, rubbing palms together, breathing heavy sighs.

That’s how I spent my day, only because I was facing (or maybe running from) the uncertainty of next week. I had to wait until after 5:00 pm to make the phone call to see if I had to report for jury duty Monday morning. Up until 5:00, I could have asked for another extension. If I’d done that, I would have put off this agony until September. I already postponed it from January to now, and the easy way out would have been to give myself another four months.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t hesitate to take the easy way out, but my sense is that every time I put it off, my name gets closer to the top of the list the next time I’m called. I’m obsessive enough already, just thinking I’ll probably have to go, without knowing almost surely I’d have to go. This ordeal needs to be over, even if it means getting on a jury and sending someone up the river. I can’t take another day of this pacing (except that I’ll be pacing every day and night until either I’m called in or taken off the hook).

You don’t want to be near me when I’m facing something like this. I’m even less fun to be around than I normally am. I’m also less patient, and less focused, and much less coherent. All I can think about is that I want it to be over, the sooner the better.

So here’s the deal, as of now. Rather than waste my time navigating the court’s phone tree, I checked its web site at exactly 5:00:00.001 and was informed that Jurors 1 to 423 do not have to report Monday morning. I am Juror 203 (whew). However, I was also instructed to call at 11:15 am Monday for a possible Monday afternoon appearance. So they’re getting the week’s business off to a slow start, and with any luck they won’t get going on Monday at all. They don’t start until 9:30 am, so they can’t possibly get anything done by 11:15, right?

It’s my belief (and hope) that if that’s the case, and I’m not required to appear Monday afternoon, I’m off the hook for at least a year, since being “on call” is considered fulfilling the jury service requirement. I’m not sure if I’ll be more relaxed for the next two days or not. Probably not. Probably I’ll try to get extra work done over the weekend, in case I have to be in court Monday afternoon. Always assume the worst, you know. (That goes hand in hand with “all change is bad.”)