If I ever die, I’d like to happen peacefully, at the end of a long and successful life, surrounded by people I love and who love me. I would wish for people to have warm thoughts and nice things to say about me at my funeral. I don’t think a person could ask for more than that, when the end comes.

John’s dad, who died over the weekend, had his family by his side at the end. He had been in failing health for a long time (and, let’s face it, he had been old for a long time, too), so it wasn’t entirely unexpected. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard to say goodbye. He was a good and gentle man, and that was the theme of his service this morning. He leaves us with a lifetime of warm memories, and he will be missed.

If I ever die, I’d like to know that the people I left behind remembered me fondly. I’d also like to think they would be kind to each other, and help one another through the sorrow. I would feel that the spirit of who I am would stay alive if the people who matter to me were drawn closer together. I think I could even leave peacefully, if I knew that would be the way things were afterward.

And from what I saw of the folks at the house after Sam’s funeral, it looked as if they were basking in the glow of a life well lived. He was also Eric and David’s grandfather, and Aiden and Kylie’s great grandfather, roles I think he cherished. I will always remember him as the man who never failed to say hello and ask about me, whenever we saw each other. I never saw him angry or heard him speak harshly to anyone. That’s what I’d aspire to leave behind, as well, if I ever die.