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Monday, January 1, 2007

Every year I make the same few resolutions, and then blithely go on living the same dissolute life Iíve always lived, eating ice cream instead of broccoli and collapsing in the La-Z-Boy instead of working out on the Nordic Track. That doesnít deter me from making the resolutions, but at least I go into them with my eyes wide open.

A few other things I donít expect to do this year are getting up early, going to bed early, and doing anything in between to make either more likely. I probably wonít get caught up on my filing or keep my yard from getting overgrown and unruly. More than once Iíll forget to pay my bills on time. I wonít keep the bathroom or the kitchen (much less both) spotless and sanitary.

Thereís a good chance I wonít wash my car every other Saturday, or my windows ever. The spiders in my rafters have little to fear from my broom, since I donít think Iíll get around to clearing out the cobwebs. In all likelihood I wonít keep my email inbox cleaned up, and I wonít organize my CD collection.

I will also complain loudly about things I canít do anything about, and look for someone to blame for things that are nobodyís fault. At times I will be petty and petulant and pissy, and every so often I will punch the walls and kick the furniture. When I should laugh something off, I probably wonít. When I should take something seriously, I might not.

I will stop procrastinating, but probably not this year.

If I do anything great or memorable, it will be an accident. Any contribution I make to world peace and harmony will be a by-product of my own self-indulgence, as I go on leading the same oblivious life Iíve always led. Unless, you know, things change and I actually keep some of my resolutions this time. But thatís not very likely.

21 November 2006

Clash of the clouds.

For all that, I will still make the resolutions. Knowing Iím going to fail will not deter me, and I wonít berate myself when it happens, at least not any more than I berate myself naturally in the course of daily life. I plan to keep punching along, doing the best I can moment to moment and dealing with whatever comes along. Iíll slip, but then Iíll get back up. Or at least I resolve to try.

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One year ago: Improvement
"My intentions arenít all that specific anyway; itís like beauty (and pornography) — I know it when I see it."

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