Farewell, President George W. Bush, former baseball executive and onetime puppet governor of a large southwestern state. My wish for you is the obscurity you deserve. My wish for the nation and the world is that is doesn’t take eight good years to undo the damage you’ve done in your eight bad years.

You were elected by one vote (5-4) and then proceeded to use that “mandate” to dismantle the Constitution, to the best of your ability. Your finest moment was ducking those shoes. Now go away, and don’t come back. And take that scary guy with you, before he shoots somebody else in the face.

Thanks for keeping us safe from the terrorists, by the way. If only somebody had been able to keep us safe from you.