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Wednesday, March 8, 2006

This was the day between the storms, and it was also the day my springtime allergies caught up with me and smacked me down. Itís not enough that my eyes are heavy from lack of sleep, but now theyíre also bearing the weight of everything thatís in the air, and thatís a lot right now. Plus, I grated an onion tonight, and that didnít help any.

As I was driving Mom home from the party last night I was feeling the burn in my eyes and thinking it was probably a product of too many late nights, all strictly speaking my own fault. It definitely didnít make it any easier to drive after dark, with all those bright headlines in my face and filling my rear view mirror. I might be about ready for my first eye exam since the new insurance kicked in. That should be fun.

Mostly I blame myself for everything that I find wrong in my life. I just donít do a very good job solving problems or resolving crises or taking care of myself. Itís a good thing Iím the only person Iím in charge of, because Iíd hate to think how anyone who depended on me would cope. Iíd like to think Iíd step up, but we canít be sure of that, can we?

6 March 2006

Clouds in black and white.

Iím so tired Iím barely making sense. Iím also so tired that Iím not getting a full dayís work done, even when I put in a full day doing it. Every so often I find my mind wandering. Well, not wandering, exactly. Blank. Absorbing the emptiness. Communing with the void. Actually, those are some of my best moments, because Iím just being and not blaming myself for not being something Iím not.

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The Cuban team playing in the World Baseball Classic showed flashes of defensive brilliance in their opening game today against Panama, but overall fundamentals were surprisingly weak. There were seven hit batters in the game, and Cuba had two runners picked off in the ninth inning alone, but they pulled out a sloppy 8-6 win in eleven innings. Team Canada barely beat lightly regarded South Africa yesterday, but they had no trouble riding three triples and an inside-the-park home run to an 8-0 lead over the U.S. today. But Team USA gave itself a chance to get back in it, scoring six runs in the fifth, capped by a grand slam by Jason Varitek. They came within a foot of taking the lead in the eighth, but Chase Utleyís bid for a three-run homer died in the glove of centerfielder Adam Stern, who was also Canadaís hitting star. The 8-6 win by Canada means the U.S. may now need help in order to move on to the next round of the tournament.

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