Against all odds and defying a lifetime of experience, I keep hoping that things will get better. Or maybe it’s just a spring thing. The days are getting longer (although it doesn’t seem so, because it’s so dark and cloudy and gloomy all day). Baseball is on the way, and we’ll be getting some extra daylight next week. All that is hopeful stuff, right?

To be honest, sometimes it’s hard to hang onto this hopefulness. When I wear out a little earlier each day, and then have a little harder time getting to sleep each night and as a result have more trouble getting up the next morning, it’s the kind of cycle that seems impossible to break. I know it’s not impossible, but most of the time I don’t know how to do it.

People believe so many impossible things that it’s not much of a stretch to keep hope alive. Things won’t get better by hope alone, but if you don’t have the hope as a sort of a sauce, you won’t be able to savor the banquet. Half of getting there is knowing it can be done, whether it can be or not. It’s not self-delusion if you actually achieve it.

So what did I do today? I kept my head down and got as much work done as I possibly could in the time I was able to stay awake and alert enough to do it. I don’t know how I can ask any more of myself than that, and if nothing else, it allows me to go to bed with a clear conscience. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get any sleep, but I can always hope.