I’ll probably never call you on the phone, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to talk to you. (Not that I’m going to publish my number, or anything like that.) It’s not that I hate talking on the phone, but I get a little chill up my spine whenever I have to make a call. Someone says “hello,” and I freeze.

Nevertheless, I do spend a lot of time on the phone. If it’s business, I try to get through it as fast as possible. If it’s a personal call, I sometimes try to find ways to make it last longer. After all, I live alone and spend most of my waking hours talking to no one but myself. I’m happy to hear another human voice. I don’t even have to be part of the conversation, if someone wants to talk; listening works just fine for me.

Lately, though, I’ve been having to cut people off. The static in my line doesn’t usually bother me when I first pick up the phone, but it gets louder and more insistent the longer the call goes on. After a few minutes I’m having to strain to hear what someone is saying. After a few more minutes I have to admit that I’m not hearing enough to make the call worthwhile.

I hate to tell people to hang up, but it’s seriously depressing to be holding onto a telephone receiver, listening to noise and knowing that there’s a voice in there somewhere of a person who’s trying to communicate with me. It makes me a little sad just thinking about it.

Supposedly the phone company will have the problem fixed some time tomorrow. They like you to report phone troubles on line, so I did that and got an email back to let me know that “service” would be “restored” by 8 pm Monday. Let’s hope that’s true, and that it’s just a matter of tightening a wire somewhere on the grid. In case their repair person has to come into my house, though, I did some dusting and vacuuming today. Only in the three or four square feet around the phone jack, but still. It’s more cleaning than I’ve done in weeks.