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Monday, June 5, 2006

At times today I felt my own mortality a little more keenly than usual. For one thing, having my blood drawn in the lab this morning seemed like the beginning of a long-term relationship with those lab techs. I can always hope it will end there, with a hundred percent positive report, but I doubt that will happen. Iím not exactly the happy optimist when it comes to things like this. Iíve been waiting for the bad news all day, even though (a) I donít know that there is any bad news, and (2) itís too soon for the results.

But in general, Iíve been feeling older and more broken down, and all these doctor visits have got me thinking about things in ways I managed to avoid for a long time. Now I can see myself slowing down. Iíve been thinking I must be getting lazier (if possible) these days, but Iím not sure thatís the whole story. I think Iím less motivated to keep working long hours because my body wears out more easily now. Not to mention my mind.

Iíll tell you what helps. Going back about thirty years helps a lot, and I did that today. I discovered that Bobby Ocean, who was a Bay Area radio personality for a long time, has a show on XM radioís seventies channel. It was almost as good as hearing Bobby Daleís pool party show from the old KEWB, but I guess going back forty years would be asking too much. I was a little more well-adjusted when I was in my twenties than I was in high school anyway.

2 June 2006

Quarter moon in a pink and blue sky.

How many times can you get interrupted by a phone call before you give up trying to get any work done? I reached my limit pretty early in the day, but I had no choice but to keep plugging away. Iíve lost most of the last month (or at least thatís how it feels), and I canít afford to be playing catch-up for another month. Sooner or later some work has to get done, no matter how many times Iím interrupted.

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Is it possible for a team to score too many runs too early in a game? The Giants beat the Marlins tonight, 14-2, with three crooked numbers: a three-run first, a six-run fifth and a five-run eighth. But they were so much in control, and so suddenly, that it didnít have the desired impact of draining the Marlinsí bullpen for the next two games of the series. All fourteen Giant runs were given up by just two pitchers, so the rest of the staff will be rested (and a lot less shell-shocked). But the Giants arenít complaining about a cathartic win that saw them get a two-run triple from Randy Winn, a three-run triple from Lance Niekro, and a two-run homer from Barry Bonds. Then different Giants had hits in the game, and six players had RBIs.

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One year ago: Revival
"Iím not trying to say my way is better, but Iím pretty sure itís better for me."

Two years ago: Simplify
"Every time I think about cashing it all in and living in a refrigerator box under the Fourth Street overpass, all I have to do is remember what really counts."

Three years ago: Between the Days
"Life isn't exactly a perfect circle, but some of the sharp edges are getting smoothed over. This free downhill ride is going to take some getting used to."

Four years ago: Fans A-Turning
"I really have no idea what I'm talking about. I might have even dreamed some of it."

Five years ago: A Good Sport
"Maybe I never felt that way, even when I was six and thought I could fly."

Six years ago: My Lucky Day
"Boy am I stupid." (a pictorial essay)

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