bunt sign

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Itís not likely Iíll have time to get my body toned and fit before my doctor appointment next week. Iím sort of resigned to being all lumpy for the rest of my life, but I would have liked to make a good impression when I meet him for the first time. If only so that he wouldnít have to mention it, you know? The lumpiness?

Even though itís too late, Iíve finally put myself back on a (mild) exercise program, just a few minutes every morning. Itís probably not enough to get me in shape, and definitely not before next Wednesday, but at least Iím finding out what I can still do, and what I canít.

One thing I canít do is push-ups, but I never could do very many of those even when my body was sound (if it ever was). I was never much for sit-ups or stomach crunches, either, but I can still do them as well as I ever could. You could look on that as a good thing, since thatís the area that needs the most work. Iím okay with standing yoga poses, but anything that involves putting weight on my hands, of course, is out. (And there are a lot of such positions.)

22 May 2006

Marge Simpson.

One way or another, Iíll figure out an exercise regimen that helps keep me in a little better shape, in spite of my debilities. Itís sad, though, that I can no longer play the air guitar like Pete Townshend. Iíll have to settle for playing the air dobro like Brother Oswald, which isnít nearly as dramatic.

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Until this season, the Cardinals were the only team Matt Morris had ever pitched for. Tonight he started for the Giants against his former team, and the third batter of the game, Albert Pujols, tagged his ex-teammate for a three-run homer, his twenty-third of the season (by far the most in the major leagues). The Giants got two of those runs back immediately in the bottom of the first, and they got the tying run on base in the bottom of the ninth, but they could never quite catch up and lost, 8-5.

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One year ago: Responsible
"What he said was, 'I know itís hard on you, dealing with people like me.'"

Two years ago: Drone
"There were two machines going all day, at two different pitches, and the combination made my brain rattle. (And it's usually so quiet in there.)"

Three years ago: Silence
"It was sort of like examining my conscience before confession. Bless me, Father, did you need anything today? (A tiny carafe of wine, or a cookie?)"

Four years ago: Reruns and Rejects
"It makes me feel like part of something bigger when I know millions of people are feeding off the same wave length as I am."

Five years ago: Too Many Straws
"I got louder and a bit strident. And clearer. 'No' is pretty clear, I thought."

Six years ago: General Legerdemain
"I'm neither an accountant nor a mind reader. But I work cheap and have a vested interest in keeping the Boss satisfied."

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